2012 started so well: I was full of beans (which probably explains the gas) and rather chirpy. Visions Fading Fast was eventually published, and Nasty Snips II was announced along with To Usher, the Dead. Stories trundled in for NS2 which I sent to Ross, Katy and Esther to read and Gary M was proofing Usher ready for FantasyCon launch.
Ordinarily this would be no problem – well, not a problem for any other publisher. Unfortunately, Visions Fading Fast was printed when there wasn't quite enough money in the pot to pay for it; has such, and due to my severe lack of fiscal ability, the printing bill snowballed when I had to get Usher ready for September.
Don't ask me to explain how I got it so spectacularly wrong… but from August onwards I became a master of juggling; of robbing Peter to pay Paul – but you can only do that for so long. My stress was rising – and is still high – and I was losing sleep (and still not quite right). I was haemorrhaging money and only now I can see a faint glimmer in the distance.
To be fair, this is probably nothing new to many of you – but I shouldn't be in this position: I'm single with no dependants. I live on my own and work full-time, and truthfully on paper Pendragon should be fairly comfortable… but this year, I somehow kept my eye off the the ball and let it drop big-time.
Why am I telling you this – writing this bluntly honest post which is almost akin to that of Gerald Ratner the UK jeweler who called his merchandise "crap". Well, I'm telling you this since I owe people books, and I owe one or two people money and I believe in being truthfully honest – even when I should really be using marketing-speak and bullshit you all.
In case you haven't noticed, I don't do bullshit. And I can't lie.
So, 2012 was bad… very bad; quite possibly my worst year of publishing yet; my ineptitude in money and organisation led procrastination which in itself lead to me being even more inept in doing stuff.
But, as I stated above, I do see a sliver of blue on the horizon: I'm pretty on-top of the bill now, and the trips to the post office are on a regular basis. I see 2013 starting with a clean slate, and a decision to drop a shift in my main-job to concentrate more time and effort on Pendragon.
I'm looking at CreateSpace with regards to the Nasty Snips Project and once I get these stories paid off in full then February will be launch date.
I have three books scheduled in for next year; I'm going back to crawling again and re-learning how to run a business.
In 2013, I will change… I have to if Pendragon is to survive.